*My words are not intended to offend any ones race, age or gender or creed...... I was just speaking off the cuff.
I met so many wonderful people this day. At least two of them I really thought would be considered for the show.
Oooh well.. here goes...
My Big Brother Story...
Yes, Big Brother. I waited over 4 hours.. ack. and got two minutes.
I got there around 1:20pm. And there was perhaps 20 people waiting in the room. When I First walked in I saw this crazy looking guy with long wavy brown hair and red eyeglasses. He was whispering to his mother and completely going over what he was going to say with his mother. She was like his coach and looked exactly like him only 30 years older... (Turns out I see this guy (Name is Sex) on "So you think you can Dance" a few months later and almost fell off the sofa...) everyone kept giving him strange looks as they were filling out there applications.
I, on the other hand was prepared. It took me weeks to finish my application. But nonetheless people were sitting there filling it out with No.2 Pencils on the spot, at the last minute.
I met a few cool chicks from Long Island, a few other nice girls from Brooklyn. A bunch of male and female models. (Real models not like Amber.. haha) and this really cool body builder dude from Queens. I seriously thought I would see him on the show. He was so unique and cool looking. I met a bunch of people that were afraid of drug testing. LOL A few were lying about there criminal records and a few others that... were from out of town and just happened to stumble upon it and figured they would try out.
So this goes on all day. People come out either happy or upset that it didn't go very well. There was a few news stations there and reporters interviewing us from the NY Times. Even Ethan and Jenna from Survivor showed up to see what was going on.
Finally, its my turn..... after all these hours... of sitting on the floor of this gymnasium.
I am standing outside the room waiting for the the girl before me..
Oooh and she got a 20 interview.
But I'm not actually sure if it really was a woman.. she/he looked like a tranny. She was African American.. and had really bad skin.. and false eyelashes that u could see the glue so bad, I don't know how they didn't fall off, fishnet stockings.. with huuuuge fishnet holes.. not the normal little diamonds.... with exposed garter belts with blue bows, red underwear i may add.. (thank god she was wearing it...) a corset style top... and big hair.. topped off by clear high, high, high heeled hooker shoes. Well, i hear them laughing in there.... for like 15 minutes.... as I'm next up for my interview..... its now 7:15pm. the whole thing is over at 8pm.
This butch looking production person.. goes into the room with me at the same moment.. and says to the interviewers.. "You need to see 40 people in 40 minutes.. Speed it up!!" Figures they do this right before my turn.. so now there all scrambling and nervous. And I of course only get two minutes... The guy says.. "Oooh great!!" .. and seems to rush immediately.. he was making this gesture like give me your application.. and I'm trying to get it out of the Manila envelope.. and he grabs it.. right out of my hand and I said.. "I am not sure what pictures you want. (I had more then one.). He says.. "This is fine." and throws it all in a big cluster fuck pile. which is 3 feet high. Great!!! They will never review that.
I thought the butch looking woman.. and the guy running the camera and
the interview looked very familiar.... i think i have seen them before... on another set... perhaps...
Anyway.. he asks who I am.. I state my name, tell him I'm from Caldwell, NJ.. and he says.. "Oooh a very good friend of mine is from Caldwell.. I know it very well.." and I look at him.. and arch my head and say.. "Is it me??" and he laughs.. and says "No...!"
Then he asked me... "What makes me so special and why I stand out from the rest..." and I didn't know what to say.. blank. Deer in the headlights. haha Well for a moment at least...
said.. "Well, I live a pretty interesting life.. people live vicariously through me. "What did you do over the weekend..." is what I hear everyday... Who did you meet this time.. haha"
Then I told them I worked for the Howard Stern Show.. and again the guy said.. "Reaaaally.. what year??" I said told him. and he said "My very best friend KC Armstrong works for the show.. "and i said, "Yeah, he started working there after i left..." and again he said "Ooooh...." LOL
I told them I did a little acting... cause I didn't know what to say.. then i thought.. oooh thats pretty bad.. they probably don't want that.. so i said.. nothing special.. I had two small speaking roles...
Then I proceeded to tell them I was on SNL in November... and that Ludacris spilled a whole tray of drinks on me... on LIVE TV. I even did the little Ludacris dance.. like he did.. when he backed into me.. not sure if they were laughing... at this point I'm just rambling on.. cause I'm nervous..... and think i already said too much.. (in fact i am remembering what i said.. as i type this.. forgot alot of this up till now...LOL) then i told them... I was a season ticket holder for the NY Rangers.. and that we clinched the other night.. and i was at the game.. and that I took my mom and it was only the second game she ever went too..... then I told them I had a very small close-knit family.. that it was just me and my mom and sis..... (don't remember if i told
them my father died when i was 4 or not...) but know i told them I lived in my house since I was 4 years old....
Anyway.. they said.. "Thank you that was great...."
and then the girl who was in the room with the guy said.. "Soo how is Howard in real life..??" and by that time... the gay guy who was to follow me.. already walked in... and I sorta rambled off that he was nice but quiet.. and left...the room
How the hell are they gonna remember me between.. the tranny and the
gay albino guy with the heavy Virginia accent??
Doubtful. Turns out I was right.
Haha
Anyway.. here I am... with a fun experience... and I can say I was there. I did it. I tried.
I also... well... Failed. haha "It's soooo Frustrating."
"The End"
you went to the audition alone? hmmmm, lol
ReplyDelete